Reality TV to the Rescue

Yesterday was the final day of the strategic planning workshop I've been co-facilitating. It was a really intense experience - only 4 participants - but overall the client came out very satisfied with our work.

Preparing and facilitating this workshop was one of the greater learning experiences I've had since coming to Mozambique. Not only did I pick up several new methodological tools, my PowerPoint skills increased exponentially. I also got some important interpersonal lessons, coming out of the workshop with what I feel is a good relationship with someone who, when I first met him, I felt our interactions were somewhat strained and almost competitive.

I've done a lot of reflecting over the course of the workshops about how I present myself, and how I can facilitate relationships or jeopardize them merely because of the posture I choose to adopt. I feel like I began my relationship with this particular person feeling very compelled to "prove myself" - as a competent consultant despite my age, as a woman who runs with the big boys and is not a pushover, as a person who knows the value of her work and does not fall prey to her self-critic.

I'll admit I did a fair bit of Reality TV Representation in the beginning. :) I think I've talked about this before on the blog. Basically when I am in situations that either a) intimidate me professionally, or b) I am dreading for some reason - usually because of some uncomfortable interpersonal situation, my strategy is to pretend that I am on Reality TV. Rico and I saw this show once - I can't remember the name - but it was based on the concept of "fake it 'till you make it."

The producers would choose contestants with a dream career, but zero experience in whatever area they wanted to work in. The idea was that over the course of a month, the contestant received intensive training, classes and coaching from experts in their dream profession. The ultimate goal was to trick some industry expert or choosy client into thinking that this person was a seasoned professional. You'd get accountants on the show that wanted to be models and had to strut down the catwalk trying to get a deal with a fashion label, or construction workers that dreamt of being interior designers and had to put together a maquette to try and win over a potential client. Interestingly enough, most of the time the contestants on this show were able to convince the judges/experts/clients that they were, in fact, the person they were presenting themselves to be.

I try and remember this - how much confidence and appearance count - all of the times I am nervous about my business skills and consulting abilities. And do you know what? It really helps. Once I've been "faking it" for about 15 minutes, my inner-critic retreats and I am able to carry out my work based on the skills I know I have deep down.

The other trick I use is to pretend that I'm on The Real World or some other show where you have several participants. There is invariably one person that is labeled as immature, unable to deal with tough situations without being petty or shying away. Then there is always that person that shows integrity, who steps up to the tough situations and handles them with grace and respect. When I'm dealing with people or situations that I dread, I imagine that I am being filmed and that the entire world will eventually see the footage. I remind myself that I want to be known as the girl with integrity, not the one that fell short of her committments or avoided the tough situations, or acted in a manner that would later lead to regret or embarrassment.

For as silly as these tactics may sound, let me tell you - they work, at least for me. :)

Now that I've put the workshop behind me, I can get back to my regular work rhythm. The FAO study will be completed tomorrow (finally!!), then Rico and I are going full force to finish putting together a business plan for a banana project. The next month will be quite intense, but if I've planned it right, I'll complete all my work just in time to catch the plane for the US in mid-April. A well-deserved vacation/art/Nia break is just around the corner and I can't wait.