Friends, Felines and Férias

A few photos from our life these days...

My childhood friend Hallie and her friend Cheryl came to visit over the holidays, fresh off working on the Obama campaign. We kicked things off with the requisite meal at Costa do Sol.

We also showed them a braai, in good South African style. We had a great afternoon with swimming, meat, wine and karaoke.

The food was delicious - the right mix of spicy and sweet, perfect for summer.

While the girls were here, we took them to the beach at Macaneta. It was a beautiful day, full of sun, with just a touch of wind to keep things comfortable. At one point, we spotted something strange wash up on shore. Upon closer inspection, it was a turtle shell. The insides were definitely rotten, but it was super interesting to have a look at the turtle nonetheless.

We spent New Year's in Maputo, which was pretty low-key compared to previous years in San Francisco, Rio and Cape Town. Still, we had a good time celebrating with friends. I wore white, holding up the Brazilian tradition, but was definitely not in the majority...

Hallie and Cheryl enjoy some champagne in our living room prior to hitting the town.

Ready to be out with the old, and in with the new!

Happy 2009!! (Though I must say, this toast was deceptively early. This was still around 10pm, prior to going out, though we were ready to kick things off with style.)

Onto other news, I realized yesterday marked the 2-month anniversary of Parceiro's death. It seems like it was a year ago. So strange how time works when you suffer a loss. Rico and I think of him often, and how he must be enjoying himself in the land of fleece and treats.

Much of Parceiro's spirit has been captured in our little ones, Mano and Nina. Here we are - the entire cat fam - enjoying some tv on the bed. Pria continues to be a stellar momma cat, keeping the kittens clean and sleeping with them in a protective heap. It is incredibly cute. :)

Mano and Nina

Friends, say hello to Mano (the white one with black spots) and Nina (the one all black on top, white on the bottom). They are just over 6 weeks old now, and we are absolutely loving them. These little kittens have, without a doubt, been the best thing possible for the hole in our hearts left by Parceiro's death.

We took the kittens home at 5 weeks, due to what we deemed iffy circumstances at the farm where they were being raised, and they have adapted beautifully to our little home. We kept Mano and Nina in isolation for the first week so they could acquire the smell of our flat and have a chance to grow a bit before being introduced to big cat Pria.

Two days ago, we took the plunge and put everyone together for the first time. We had low expectations (from the internet, and previous disastrous cat introductions, we learned that Tolerance was a reasonable hope for the cats old and new), and were frankly prepared for the worst. My mom was predicting a pissing fest, the result of all the 3-cat homes we ever had while I was a child. My dad was slightly more optimistic, but noted that it took their 3 cats quite a while before they stopped hissing and spitting.

In fact, the first moments were a bit rough. Mano was much more agressive than we'd have predicted, and hissed quite a bit in Pria's face. Pria, for her part, was not amused, and got out the old pata for a few retalliatory swipes. Nina, poor thing, is the true definition of a scaredy cat, and just froze in her tracks when confronted by Pria, tail puffed out to the maximum. For most of the afternoon, Pria just lay on the table observing the seemingly offensive intruders. Rico and I were satisfied, as at least they weren't fighting (or pissing).

What we could never have expected, however, was that it would only take 1.5 days for the kittens and Pria to get on splendidly. Last night, Rico called me excitedly into the living room where he'd found our big Gato Preto affectionately licking and cleaning Mano and Nina. Pria was playing the role of Momma Cat for the first time since Parceiro came home from Day 1 at the vet. It made me cry, from happiness, as well as from the realization that Parceiro is truly gone.

I admit I had a good cry last night missing Parceiro. He will never be replaced, and we know that. But it is wonderful to have Mano and Nina, and Pria is undoubtedly much happier as well. We sensed she had a bit of a hole in her heart as well, and it seems that was the case given how amazingly she's taken to the kittens.

Tonight we are making pizza, and watching tv on the bed as a happy family - Patrão, Patroa, Pria, and the two Gatos Pequenos.

Mano and Nina on their first day at home on our verandah (5 weeks)

Enjoying some onion-free baby food.

Not quite used to sticky foods yet, so there was a lot of lip-licking involved

This afternoon, lounging on the bed. They have grown so much!

Making pizza dough while wearing the apron my mom gave me for Christmas (I obviously didn't wait for the appropriate day to open my gift!)

Kitty Names

Rico and I decided. Our two new kittens are Mano and Nina. Mano because we wanted something that reminded us of Parceiro's name. Parceiro means "partner", and Mano is slang in São Paulo for "brother". Nina was inspired by the stray cat we took in earlier this year, Pequena, because they look a lot alike. The diminuitive form of Pequena in continental Portuguese is "pequenina", thus Nina.

They are so cute, and it's nice to be able to call the kitties by name.

Pria, however, continues unimpressed. There have been several hissing episodes through the varanda door.

Black and White / White and Black

That is how the veterinarian described our TWO NEW KITTENS when filling out their charts yesterday. We got them from Hugh Marlboro's farm (oh, the irony), as one of the resident cats gave birth to five kittens. Last week Rico and I went to visit them, and picked out a boy and a girl (we were hoping for two girls, but alas, there was only one in the litter). They are, as the vet's assistant tried to capture on the chart, black and white; one is nearly white with black splotches, the other is all black on top, and all white on the bottom. They are 5 weeks old and very, very cute. Now all they need is names!

We took them away from the momma cat a bit early, however it seemed like the best decision as the farm where the cats were staying has 1) poisonous snakes (the end of little Pequena, as you might remember), 2) an uncovered swimming pool (our little white/black cat actually fell in the day before we picked up the cats - thankfully the daughter of the farm supervisor was swimming and promptly plucked the kitten out of the water), and 3) there are CROCODILES in a pen behind the farmhouse (a homemade pen, by the way, with 3 crocs in it already and one ready to lay eggs tomorrow!).

I asked the farm supervisor's daughter - she is 9 years old - what they were going to do with all the crocodiles, and where they would keep them (the pen isn't that big). She matter-of-factly said the crocs would stay in her room while they were small, then they would give them to the croc farm down the road. I asked if she didn't think the crocodiles would eat the kittens, or any of the small sausage dogs they have running around the farm. No, she said, they are too small. The crocs that is, not the potential pet-snacks. I could just imagine that situation going horribly wrong about 100 different ways, but chose to keep my mouth shut. If this girl's parents think it's quite ok for her to be keeping crocs in her room, then I shall stay far away from that discussion!

So, yes, it would have been nice for the kitties to get an extra week of momma's milk. However, I'm not at all confident they would have survived that week unscathed. :)

For the time being, we are keeping the kittens in isolation on the varanda. I've been doing lots of reading on how to introduce cats to each other in the least painful way possible. They say it is unrealistic to hope for new cats to bond with cats already present in the household; a realistic expectation is for them to tolerate each other. I am 100% hoping for tolerance, but I also know it will likely be a rough next month given Pria's lovely personality. That said, I think it will be a good thing in the long run for Pria to have company, as (s)he is obviously lonely, needy, craving a play partner, and generally feeling the lack of a companion cat.

We'll see how it goes. As a precaution, we've invested in lots of bleach should our mattress become the vehicle for Pria to express her distaste with our newest additions to the household.

Missing P.

Today I've been hit with a wave of grief, the strongest one since the initial sadness of losing Parceiro passed. I've felt like crying all day, and can't stop thinking about the fact that our boy suffered 3 very painful days before letting go. I know there were tons of good times, and that these years of love and enjoyment far outweigh temporary suffering, but still. God it hurts! I miss Parceiro so much, and even now can't really believe he's gone.

I won't turn this into a cat-mourning blog, but man today has been tough.

Bunny Hop

Damnit. I sprained my ankle while Rico and I were out on a walk this afternoon. Maputo's sidewalks (a generous description, by the way) are "all terrain" in that they are broken and busted and full of tree roots and dirt patches and holes and trash. Some are patched up, but it is of private initiative, and usually in front of well-to-do businesses or nice apartment buildings. The rest is a mess. We were walking/jogging, and my foot slipped off the edge of one of the jagged sidewalks and my ankle rolled. It hurt when it happened, but then I managed to walk it off and all seemed fine. We got home, and I started working on my computer. Then the pain hit, big time. It is awful, throbbing, constant pain. I know it's not broken, but it is not fun, nonetheless. Rico tied some ice in a towel to my foot, and I'm hoping it gets better before tomorrow.

I have a big meeting, an all-day country-wide staff meeting at which I have to make a 45-minute presentation. I like to present on my feet - it helps me be more dynamic - so I'd like to be cured of my hobbling tendencies of this evening.

Today was a bit of a slow day. Other than our walk/jog, I made some trade bead earrings and cooked the latest batch of homemade cat food for Pria. I used a rabbit from Talho Polana that I'd had them de-bone when I bought it (they put the bones and guts in a separate bag for me to take home). I boiled the innards and bones of the rabbit, then pulled off what meat was salvageable and added it to the mix of the main ingredients. I had a moment of gross-out when I was pulling the meat off the head and found the eyeballs, then another ick moment when I found the rabbit's large intestine with 3 or 4 little rabbit-poos already formed and lined up to come on out. I made Rico come in and feel them, though I don't think the gesture was at all appreciated. Heheh.

I cooked the rabbit, chopped up the meat and innards, added a cup or so of brown rice and a chopped carrot, then poured in some of the broth from the boiled bones. Pria thought it was delicious. If I weren't opposed to eating things with fur, I likely would have found it tasty as well.

It's about time for our bedtime. I'm icing my ankle for a few minutes longer, and trying to get ahold of my dad to say hi, since we usually talk on weekends. It's hot tonight, and our air conditioner isn't working (due to a missing-in-action workman. Quel surprise!). Between the heat, the cat, our increasingly sloped mattress, my slight nervousness about my presentation tomorrow, and my sore ankle, I'm not optimistic about the quality of sleep I'll get tonight.

I guess that pre-justifies a glass of wine and an early bedtime tomorrow!

Moving Forward

It seems like an entire year has gone by since Parceiro died last Tuesday. We commemorated the week anniversary of his passing, and I felt mostly disbelief, not the sadness and raw emotion that marked the first days after he decided to go. I thought I'd have a transition from crying my way through the day, to feeling more-or-less sad, to bittersweetly remembering Parceiro. What has happened, however, was an abrupt jump from being devastated to feeling distant, removed, and almost numb. I recognize that I am sad, and that I am probably in the depression stage of grief, but it almost seems like the whole thing with Parceiro never even happened.

Meh. I'm trying to "snap out of it", but it's hard...I imagine that a proper ceremony to put him to rest will help, but his body was sent for cremation to some state-run institution (the Veterinary School?), and we've yet to receive his ashes. The vet seems hopeful that they will come, but I am quite cynical about the possibility that it will all work out as planned. Who knows...

This week has been a long one in other ways as well. Work was slightly stressful, with a quarterly program report and an extension proposal to prepare. It is hard depending on other people for the inputs you need to do your own job properly, especially when you feel like some of them have it out for you. In general I really like my colleagues at the new job, but there is one guy in particular who has a personality and general attitude towards work (and/or towards me) that I find exasperating. I know it's part of an office job that you have to learn how to work with difficult coworkers and bosses, but it's been quite a while since I've worked at a real, honest-to-God, full-time job. I forgot what drama can occur.

It's been raining a lot in Maputo lately, realy dreary weather. It's common this time of year, at the beginning of the rainy/monsoon season. Still, the gray-blah outside doesn't really help my mood. It's been good for the farmers, though. They were expecting a drought in Southern Mozambique this year, and I heard many people say the rains would't come until January (they're meant to arrive in October). They were a bit late, and I'm not sure how total rainfall for the year measures up, but at least there is some moisture for the crops. The rain is not good news, however, for my struggling veranda garden. My pots are soaked through from the sideways rain that makes its way in, and I'm worried I will lose the chocolate mint, hibiscus and basil I just planted last week, despite the fact that they are water-loving plants.

Rico and I continue to do home improvements. We had our kitchen and bathroom painted this week. For the kitchen, I chose a pale green (creatively called "Pastel Green" by the manufacturer). We have gray-toned tiles and marble countertops, and the room tends to be hot, so I knew I needed a cool color. I've never had a green kitchen before. I rather like how it turned out. It has a retro feel that is going to be fun to work with. For the bathroom, I chose a tan-ish pinky beige color called "Pale Mushroom" (they were more inspired with this name). It transformed what was a grotty, dirty-looking, 70's-leftover bathroom into one that is almost spa-inspired. Now my next project is to bleach our nice heavyweight cotton shower curtain so that I get rid of the blue and purple print. I think I can do it, though my last experience trying to bleach something tured out disastrously, with a stained red Banana Republic shirt disintegrating instead of just fading to white. I may have to experiment a bit until I get the right proportion of bleach:water.

Tonight Rico and I are going to a braai with friends. I'm not feeling particularly social, but I know once we are there I will enjoy myself. I also plan on making a lot of jewelry, as the year-end demand for pieces is picking up faster than I can keep up!

Hope you all are well...

Home Improvements

They say one of the best ways to manage grief is to keep yourself busy. We've certainly been trying...

Last night we went to a birthday party at Rodízio, which was super nice in terms of the company and the food, but the service was lamentable. When you are paying about US$35 per person in Maputo, you expect the service to be decent, but this was really a let-down. Still, it got us out of the house, which was good.

Today Rico and I ran errands. We bought paint for the bathroom and kitchen (pale mushroom, a tan-pink color for the former, and pastel green, a spring green with a bit of yellow, for the latter) from my old paint client from my days doing investment analysis at the BIC. We went to Casa Paris and bought fabric to re-upholster our living room chairs (heavy brocade with shiny tan stripes - Rico is doing the work himself). We went to the plant nursery at Kaya Kwanga and I bought rosemary, chocolate mint and parsley for my herb garden, as well as a beautiful oversized orange hibiscus. We also stopped by GAME for some wine, an upholstery gun, and toilet paper.

This evening we are going to go for a drink at this new bar/café that opened on Av. Julius Nyerere with a few friends...keep ourselves busy.

I am still super sad about Parceiro, but am over the hump of crying every minute of every day. Now, I miss my boy, but I'm mostly worried about Pria. She's definitely realized that Parceiro is gone, and wanders around the house crying and trying to find him. It is heartbreaking. I can't wait for the requisite 1-2 months to pass so we can get a new kitten. It will not be a replacement for Parceiro - far from it - but I think a new spirit in our lives will be a good way to move on. I just wish it could be now!

Parceiro, Muito Obrigado!

Rico wrote this tribute to Parceiro this afternoon. We are making a real effort to concentrate on the positive, and on the good times shared together. Thank you all for your kind comments. We will get through this!

Hi my gray baby. Thank you for being part of my life. Thank you for bringing so much joy to our house and making Ali so happy. Thank you for showing me how nice cats can be. If your purpose in life was to make me like cats, you did a superb job. I am sure you enjoyed your life as much as we enjoyed having you playing around, sleeping inside drawers, running desperately for your food – like it was always your last meal – especially junk food. And, of course, your face with your eyes closed in ecstasy when making torties in fleeces. It’s been only two days since you left us and the house is pretty sad. But it is time to move on. I am sure that’s what you want. And you want us to remember how happy you were here and keep in our minds the great moments we had together. We will, Parceirinho! Thank you my companheiro.

Denial / Guilt / Depression

My waves of grief are oscillating between these three stages right now. I don't really feel anger yet, unless you count grief as the by-product of anger turned inwards.

The mornings are especially hard. I miss Parceiro cuddled up next to my stomach. His sweet face and torties would help dissipate my morning grouchiness without fail. I miss him dashing between my legs at feeding time; I noticed that I'd adapted my way of walking and widened my steps almost like a cowboy so that Parceiro could run through my legs without me kicking him or tripping over my own feet.

I am a bit in denial in the sense that I keep expecting to see Parceiro throughout the house. I see the mirage of two hungry cats crouched over the food bowl. I see his presence waiting outside the bathroom door while I have a shower. I keep waiting for him to walk around the corner, or to hear the sound of him sharpening his claws on the wicker furniture.

The guilt mostly revolves around not having made more of an effort to get him on the proper treatment as soon as possible. When his first crystal episode cleared up, I figured he'd be fine. We kept him on the regular food until it was convenient for us to purchase the prescription food in South Africa. We didn't make the effort to cross the border ourselves, and instead relied on friends to try and find the food when they'd go across for work or visa renewals. Finally it was my old boss, Hugh Marlboro, who got Parceiro's food. He only managed to get the C/D, because the S/D - what our boy really needed - had to be special ordered in Nelspruit. Hugh Marlboro got the S/D food finally, and in a terrible irony, we sent our taxi driver Zeca to Matola to pick up the food the morning Parceiro died.

I know we did the best we could with the information and resources we had available. Still, I know that if we'd known how serious Parceiro's condition was (or could have become), Rico and I would have dropped everything to go across the border and find the food he needed.

More than anything, I feel depression and numbness creeping in. I have no appetite, and have lost several pounds since Sunday when this all began. I remember sitting at the new vet's office during one of Parciero's treatments. I was meditating, praying and bargaining with the universe for our baby to get well. At one point I offered up the following deal: if Parceiro gets well, I will stop worrying about my weight and be happy with an extra 5 pounds. I was at the point where I was willing to accept gaining weight - one of my greatest fears and causes of depression in life - in order for our Gato Gray to pull through. Now, I don't even care about my weight loss. It seems so futile in the face of what has happened.

All I want to do these days is watch mindless tv and surf the internet. It helps to be distracted. Blogging helps, too, though every time I read my posts about Parceiro - especially the comments - I start crying again. Having your support is wonderful, but it reminds me that this is all real. I know accepting what has happened and acknowleging your feelings is part of making it through grief, but it hurts so much.

The First Morning

Yesterday was such a hard day. Rico and I are both completely devastated by the loss of Parceiro, and we've been struggling with intense waves of grief.

Friends poured in as they heard the news. Jenny and Paco brought us flowers and chocolates and beer. Lindsey brought beer and food. Kelly and Marcos brought a beaded wire angel for us to remember our boy (which Pria immediately batted off the table and began chasing around the living room). Sheila and Deepak brought sandwiches and cookies from Nautilus, and more beer. It was actually really nice to be in the company of so many people, especially since they are all animal lovers and a couple knew Parceiro pretty well.

Rico had an especially tough night. He talked in his sleep nonstop, and kept repeating scenes aloud from the vet, or as if he were talking to Parceiro. At one point he even slapped my face (in his sleep, mind you), as if trying to wake me up, and kept repeating "hang on! hang on!".

The thing I am struggling the most with at this point, beyond the sheer sadness of not having our boy around, is guilt. I know it's not helpful to beat one's self up over the past, over things that cannot be changed. Still, I keep thinking about the last few weeks. Parceiro was already on his C/D diet, and seemed to be his regular playful, sweet self. He was eating and drinking, and didn't appear to be sick. However, I saw him a couple of times straining to pee while in the litter box, lingering in there much longer than normal. I just assumed that he was peeing okay, albeit with some difficulty, and that the prescription food would do the trick. He was also licking himself a lot, but I just figured it was part of the process. My warning sign that would trigger a trip to the vet was when Parceiro would pee outside the box. Since he hadn't gone outside the box, I thought we were okay.

I know now how horribly wrong I was. I wish I'd taken him to the vet sooner. I wish we'd known about Dr. Isabel and Dr. Sergio earlier, so that perhaps we would have understood better Parceiro's condition and whether it was serious a few weeks ago, and if there was something that could have been done. It kills me to think that I was in some way negligent, ignoring the cries for help from our boy.

He's gone now, and in a better place, and I just have to keep thinking about that. Last night Rico and I imagined Parceiro in a world filled with fleece blankets and packaged cat treats. The land of fleece and junk.

I miss him so much. I know with time this will get easier, but right now I am completely overwhelmed by our loss.

Remembering Parceiro

This afternoon our sweet Parceiro knew it was time to let go. After the long road we've been on, he had a heart attack at the vet's office, and died in Rico's arms. We are unspeakably sad, but take comfort in the fact that Parceiro is no longer suffering.

We thought he was doing better. He made it through the night, and woke up this morning meowing and howling and complaining about his pain. Rico and I thought this was a good sign, as it meant he was reactive and had some energy to spare. Rico took Parceiro to the vet for a consult at 9am, and while his bladder was pretty full, it wasn't necessary to do a catheter or give him anesthesia again (he'd already had 5 doses since Sunday). Rico took him home, with instructions to come back at 6pm for another checkup and an enema.

After the trip to the vet, Rico met me at the coffee shop downstairs from my office for some juice and a sandwich. Things seemed normal. We chatted. We talked about how grateful we were that our Gray Baby was going to be okay.

A few hours later, Rico called me, his voice full of worry. He said Parceiro was purring softly, and making subtle torties (what we call that kneading cats do - a derivative of making tortillas, from my childhood). Rico said it seemed different from the purring Parceiro had done on Sunday in the throes of the blockage, but wasn't sure. We decided just to keep an eye on our boy, to see if there were any other signs that he was getting worse. A while later, Rico noticed Parceiro's back legs seemed like they were giving out when he tried to walk. He knew it was time to go back to the vet.

It was time. Parceiro knew. His little heart gave out while on the clinic table. He had seizures, and the vet did CPR (brining him back several times), but it was just too much. He let go while in Rico's arms, knowing that he was surrounded by people that loved and cared for him.

Rico came to my office to tell me, and I burst into tears. It was all so surreal. Sunday, when we first thought we were going to lose our Gato Gray, seems light-years away. Thankfully my boss understands what it means to have a pet you love very much pass away, and he let me go home for the rest of the day.

Rico and I cried - and continue to cry - over the loss of our boy. The flat seems empty. I feel lost, overcome with grief. Perhaps one of the worst parts of this is that Pria and Parceiro were so close. I don't think poor Pria fully understands what has happened yet, and I'm worried about the effect losing his brother will have on him.

Still, while there is a gaping hole in our hearts, the flat is still full of Parceiro's spirit and reminders of the good times we had together. For someone who started out life in a plastic bag in a dumpster in Maputo, I think he had a pretty delicious run.

We will always remember Parceiro for being the sweetest cat to grace our lives. He was a true companion, companheiro, following us around and always eager to curl up in a lap or in the bend of a knee. One of my favorite things to do was pile onto the single bed in our guest room - me, Rico and Parceiro - all cuddled up together with him doing endless torties on the soft parts of my stomach, or on the fleece blanket we'd use to cover ourselves on chilly nights.

Parceiro had such a love for fleece. It was like a beacon, calling him to make torties. He'd sit and knead, a look of complete ecstacy on his little face, eyes half-shut in pleasure.

We used to call him Meiote, a funny nickname that came from the fact that Parceiro's favorite spot to sleep was shoved inbetween me and Rico, no matter how small the space. Every night he'd come searching for his meio, his middle spot. He was our Filhote Meiote, our baby-cat who loved his nest.

He also loved toilet paper, and between Parceiro scrabbling the entire roll whenever given the opportunity, and Pria opening the bathroom door, we had to switch the lever knob for a round one so the boys couldn't do their damage.

Parceiro and Pria had a beautiful relationship, having started life at the bottom of the bin and surviving because of each other. When our friend Brooke first found them as kittens, Parceiro had managed to chew a hole in the plastic bag where they'd been tossed out to die, and had made it onto the ground outside the bin. But what caught Brooke's attention as she walked by was an insistent mewling. It was Pria, still in the bag, crying out for someone to save them.

They had a special connceciton from the very beginning. The would play together, friendly tail-chasing sessions frequently turning into full-on feline jiu-jitsu, madly tumbling around the carpet and scrambling across the house like they were posessed. The jiu-jitsu would then turn into grooming, as if someone had flipped a switch. The would lick each other's faces simultaneously, grooming each other with much love until the switch would go again and it would be back to the wrestling on the rug.

Parceiro had the sweetest meow. It was like "maow-maow! maow-maow!", cute and high-pitched, while Pria has an ambulance drone of a meow, one you simply can't ignore. Parceiro loved stretching out in the sun, cramping himself into boxes, lounging on the sofa next to me or Rico while we worked. He was an incredibly sweet boy. He will truly be missed.

While we are grieving Parceiro, our worry is also with Pria. We are concerned about what her reaction will be once she realizes that her companion is gone. We think that, once we've had a chance to grieve and once Pria has ahd a chance to realize what the situation is, we will start to look for a new kitten. Companionship is good, even if it might start off a bit rocky. A new kitty will not be a substitute for our Gato Gray, but it will help to heal the void in our hearts and lives.

Parceiro brought us immense joy and happiness. He was one of the reasons I looked forward to waking up every morning, and coming home each night. He was our beautiful gray baby, and will forever be remembered fondly. We are going to do a small ceremony with his ashes. Rico and I will go to the seaside and prepare a farewell care package for our boy. We will put some toilet paper, a canned food treat and a square off one of our fleece blankets in a small paper package - all of Parceiro's favorite things. We will put our gray baby to rest at sea with everything he loved so much in life. I hope it bring us come closure and some peace. I hope Parceiro is looking over us, knowing he will be present always in our lives.

I loved him dearly, and miss him with all my heart. I hope he is in a better place, and am grateful that he chose to go on his own. It was time, and if he knew it, then we must accept it.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. They were greatly appreciated, and I am sure they helped make Parceiro more comfortable in his last days.

Please Send Good Thoughts for Parceiro

For the past few months, our cat Parceiro has suffered from crystals in his urine. He's been on a special C/D diet, but apparently it wasn't enough to resolve his condition.

Yesterday we woke up and I knew something serious was wrong with my boy. He was contracting constantly trying to pee, but no liquid was coming out. His pupils were dilated, and I could just sense he wasn't okay. I knew he had a urinary blockage. The worst part was when he started purring - the reaction of a cat in ecstacy, but also a cat in serious pain or close to death.

Thankfully, the vet we go to has limited hours on Sundays, so we were able to wait until they opened and take Parceiro. I couldn't stop crying on the way to the vet, and sat in the waiting room while Rico took the cat in for an exam (I can't stand to see animals in pain, and my reaction makes them more nervous, so if it's possible, I stay out of the exam room).

After a while, Rico came out and said the vet wanted to keep Parceiro for 1 hour and has asked us to return at 11am. When we got in the car, Rico spelled it out: according to the vet, Parceiro did in fact have a blockage, he was hypothermic and had blood in his urine. He said it was potentially life-threatening, and that the vet would do what he could, but Parceiro was definitely in critical condition.

I burst out in sobs, uncontrollable, awful wails from the bottom of my being. It seemed so surreal that we might lose our Gato Gray, our sweet boy-cat. It was also so frustrating to be in Maputo, where there is no 24/7 vet access, and it doesn't matter if you have money to pay for an emergency treatment...there is nobody equipped to do more than the basic vet services.

Rico reminded me that we must stay strong and hopeful for Parceiro. He is young, and other than the crystals, is a healthy cat. He will pull through. We drove around Maputo, along the seaside, to pass the time until we had to go back the vet. I prayed and cried and said mantras. I kept repeating "Everything's gonna be alright, love and light." I tried to visualize a positive outcome for our baby.

Back at the vet, the attending doctor said he'd been able to remove a few crystals using a catheter, but that Parceiro's urinary canal kept blocking up regardless. He said the cat might need surgery, and that the clinic wasn't equipped to do it, that we'd have to go to South Africa. His attitude was defeatist, and almost cold. I felt completely helpless.

Rico and I called all of our animal-loving friends here, and managed to get a recommendation for another vet clinic in Maputo that we didn't even know existed. We called the very nice female vet, and she said to bring the cat by immediately.

When we arrived, it was such a relief. The clinic had a completely different feel about it, and the doctor's approach was much better. They did a lab analysis of Parceiro's urine (bright red with blood at this point, to my horror), and took x-rays to see his bladder and if there were blockages. Due to the trauma to Parceiro's urethra at the first vet, the new vet decided it was too risky to do a flushing treatment, and just gave him some vitamins and an anti-inflammatory. At this point, his bladder was the size of an egg on the x-ray.

We went home and rested with the cat all afternoon, then returned at 6pm for another checkup. Parceiro's temperature was up (a good sign), and the vet thought it was okay to do the flushing treatment wiht a long catheter to push the crystal blockages up into the bladder, where they will hopefully be dissolved by another prescription food.

Poor Parceiro was exhausted at the end of all this, understandably, and when we got home he just lay still and rested. All night he slept next to us. He managed to pee a few times, but I don't think it was voluntary. The sheet under him was stained with blood and urine, but apparently less red than earlier in the day - another good sign. We made it through the night, fitful and mostly sleepless looking after our boy. My heart melted when I looked over at one point and saw Pria cleaning Parceiro from head to toe, playing a mix of Momma Cat and Nurse.

This morning, things look a bit less promising, but I'm confident Parceiro is going to rest and gain strength and pull through in the next couple of days. He is very lethargic, and keeps trying to pee again with no success, though likely it's because of a swollen urethra now instead of a blockage. We're waiting 45 minutes for the new vet to open, then we will go back for a checkup.

Please pray/think good thoughts that Parceiro is healing, that his temperature is back to normal, that he doesn't have a blockage again, that his bladder isn't too full, that he doesn't vomit again, that he gets good treatment and feels as safe and well as possible. Please pray/think good thoughts that he gets well, that he stays well, that we get our sweet gray baby back to normal.

Update:

We just got back from the vet, and things look okay. She was able to put a catheter in Parceiro and fully drain his bladder, with no need for a puncture. She also thinks that with continued catheters over the next few days, plus medication and an iv drip, there will be no need for surgery! Poor Parceiro is all drugged up now, but hopefully he will be able to rest some before our evening trip back to the vet.

On another note, being at the only vet in Maputo to have urgent care hours on a holiday (today is Maputo Day) is horrifying, though I'm incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to see a vet at all. While I was sitting on the porch meditating over the jacarandas and flamboyants, several people came in with critically injured dogs. One small dog had fallen from the 1st floor of an apartment and broke its spine; it had to be put to sleep. I saw the owner walk in with the dog in a towel, then walk out empty-handed. The next dog that came in had either been attacked or hit by a car; it incessantly howled in pain. Finally, a boy and his mother walked in, called the vet's assistant out to their car, then walked right past me to the back entrance of the clinic carrying their deceased German Shepherd in a sheet with the attendant's help. Apparently the dog had died in the car en route to the vet's, my absolute worst nightmare here in Maputo. At least the dog was old and had lived a good life, from what I overheard from the vet's conversation with the mom. Regardless, I burst into tears on the porch...

Update 2:

After his treatment this morning, Parceiro rested for most of the afternoon at home while we watched tv. He tried several times to pee, but no liquid would come out. We suspected he was still blocked. We returned to the vet this evening (we are blessed that they keep emergency hours from 11-12 and 18-18.30 on Sundays and holidays). The vet put in another catheter, and was able to identify several crystals blocking the front of his urethera. She wasn't able to get them out, however, and decided to wait until the morning. In the meantime, the vet gave Parceiro fluids, as he hasn't wanted food or water all day. While she was administering the iv, Parceiro expelled the crystals on his own! Rico had a look under the microscope and said they looked like grains of rock salt, clearly visible to the naked eye. Now that the vet was able to positively identify the type of crystals, Parceiro will go on an S/D diet, which we will have to buy in South Africa.

Now that our Gray Baby seems to be unblocked, we are hopeful that tonight will be a bit easier on him. Tomorrow morning we will return to the clinic for more antibiotics, anti-inflammatory and - lucky cat! - an enema.

Thank you all so much for your good thoughts and prayers. It has made a difference just knowing you are out there.

Update 3:

We made it through the night again. The highlight was soon after we returned from the vet, and Parceiro peed all over the blanket he was lying on! Lots of pee! That was amazing to see, and Rico and I laughed about how we never thought we'd be happy about a cat peeing on our blankets or our bed.

This morning, however, it looks like Parceiro may be blocked again. He has been trying to pee with no success. He is also mewling and even howling every once in a while in pain, which is awful, but sort of a good sign because it shows he is reactive and feeling strong enough to complain about his situation - much better than the total lethargy of yesterday morning.

I have to go to work, but Rico will take Parceiro back to the vet in about an hour. I hope they find more crystals, and that they are able to unblock Parceiro for good this time! Hang in there, my boy!!

They Say It Comes in Threes...

Not the best day so far:

1. Woke up to Parceiro peeing on our quilt and licking himself, a sure sign of what is unfortunately his 3rd UTI in about 2 months. The vet recommended a special food for cats with urinary problems, but - of course - the only sell it in South Africa. Rico and I aren't able to go across the border right now (my passport is caught up in immigration for residency renewal, and Rico is working on a consulting assignment), but we've asked Hugh Marlboro to buy some of the prescription food for us when he goes to South Africa next week. Regardless, I'm putting the boys back on a homemade diet (we'd snuck in some crappy kibble in the last 6 months or so because it's easier and cheaper, and now I feel guilty).

2. Got to work and received an "FYI forward" from a colleague of a scathing email this man at headquarters wrote to the CEO and CFO blasting the report I just submitted. Reading it made me see red. I was asked by the Moz office to "clean up a mess" with this one program's reporting, received little support or feedback from certain key people (i.e. the author of the angry email) in the process, was told by my boss to go ahead and do the report in the best way possible given the information I had, distributed it to a group of people for feedback prior to submission, got approval for submission to the donor, and now this man comes out of left field and tears my work to pieces! I stand by my methodology, and while I believe this guy has some valid points about weaknesses in internal communication, his approach really pissed me off.

3. On the heels of the whole report thing, I got a call from our cook, Américo. "Epa, senhora," he started out quietly. I knew his tone of voice meant bad news. "Tudo bem, Américo?" It wasn't. He explained that the glass pyrex in which I'd had him bake a massive quiche for lunch had shattered while in the oven. I told him not to worry, to clean up the oven, be careful not to cut himself, and throw the whole mess in the trash.

Relatively speaking, not the end of the world...but still, ufff! I'm ready for this day to be over.

Hopefully My Home Cooking Will Cure My Saudades

It's a bit of a lonely night in the Amaro household. Rico is in Nampula this week facilitating a workshop and I am enjoying some alone-time, though certainly feeling his absence.

At the moment I am making butter beans with jalapeños, have just finished feeding the boys some liver, and am trying to get motivated to make some jewelry. The National Crafts Fair is just over a week away, and I am trying to get a reasonable volume of pieces together ahead of time, thus avoiding a last-minute production scramble as was the case last year. I just hope the turnout at the fair is near or above what it was the first time I participated...

I've been thinking a lot about my highschool friends these days. My very best friend from high school just got engaged over the weekend to her long-term boyfriend, and I keep meaning to call her and wish them congratulations the closest to "in-person" that I can manage from half a world away. Another friend got married on the 23rd, and I have enjoyed looking at her photos on Facebook. I wonder if she'll find photo uploading and organizing and sharing as dauting as I have.

On a more somber note, an acquaintance from the class ahead of us in school was hit by a car while crossing the street in Brooklyn a couple of weeks ago. She was a dancer, pursuing her PhD in performance arts in London, but spending the summer in New York while she attended some courses. She is incredibly lucky to be alive, but had to undergo brain surgery and has yet to regain full consciousness. She is awake and able to respond to simple commands, like "hold up two fingers", but she's not yet recognizing friends and family. A group of this girl's friends have started a blog to post updates on her recovery, and I check it every day even though we were never particularly close.

Today while at work I decided to do something useful in my idle time and donated some money to the above-mentioned girl's recovery fund (like many artists and students she has no health insurance), and also made a donation to the New Mexico Humane Society, where I adopted my beloved cat Azul in 2002. She now lives with my mom, and we have carried on the pet adoption legacy here in Mozambique with Pria and Parceiro.

I'm really looking forward to Rico coming back from Nampula. I miss him, though I admit I do enjoy the time alone, being the crafty sometimes-introvert that I am. Tomorrow I have plans to go to African Dance class again and make an utter fool of myself. Hopefully I will get increasingly coordinated as time goes on. There are also plans in the works for a girl's night centered around basil mojitos, which I am certainly excited about.

Even with things to look forward to, though, and my time occupied for the most part, I have to admit that I feel very lonely without Rico here. Maybe it's because we are married now - who knows - but I find it harder to be apart.

Ooh - there goes my cell phone ringing. And what do you know...it's Rico!

Today...

- I decided to stay home from work. I've been consulting for the Big International Company since February, and in the beginning of my assignment I had enough work to merit 4 full days in the office per week. Now, the assignment is naturally coming to a close as I push the projects forward, and I find myself very, very bored at the office most of the time. So today I decided to do something productive with my day, enjoy it to the fullest...especially since I've accepted a "real" full-time job set to start on October 1st. More on that later.

- I had two cups of coffee and a cup of tea.

- I made three pairs of colorful cluster earrings with trade beads from Mozambique Island, and two pairs of big wooden disc earrings with crystals and pearls hanging off the bottom. The National Crafts Fair is just around the corner, and I'm definitely in full-on production mode.

- I made a ricotta cheese cake for an afternoon snack.

- I had a great talk with Rico about financial planning and our investment and savings goals for the short and long term.

- Rico and I took Parceiro to the vet for day two of treatment for a urinary infection. I'm so glad to have his help in taking the boys to the vet. I hate the vet almost as much as the cats do. Somehow their fear and stress and restlesness transfers straight to me, and I feel like crying every time I have to watch them be held down on the examining table. But now, I just go along for the ride and sit in the waiting room while Rico deals with the difficult parts.

- I made plans to go to an African modern dance class tonight with a new friend, which I am very excited about.

- I made fresh juice in the juicer (apple, pear and orange mix).

- I lamented the sad state of my potted plants on the verandah. The only ones doing well are the bouganvilhas; the two ficus trees have pale small leaves and refuse to perk up and grow, and the hibiscus are infested with aphids that no matter how many times I treat, they always come back with a vengeance. I'm considering throwing out the hibiscus and doing a mini herb garden in the pots instead.

- I surfed the internet.

- I enjoyed this unexpected, self-granted present of a day off!

Miracle: The Weather Seems to Be Cooperating

We are embarking on another road trip this weekend to Bilene, a saltwater lagoon in Gaza province about 1.5 hours north of Maputo. Along for the adventure is me, Rico, new girl C. (who is not so new anymore), Marcos and Kelly. Although they are some of our closest friends in Moz, it wil be the first time we travel with M and K.

I am super excited for a beach weekend. The sky outside is blue and sunny, I have a good book to finish (Paulo Coelho's The Witch of Portobello), and I am looking forward to hours of wandering along the shoreline collecting seashells. I am a bit of an odd duck when it comes to the beach - I love the ocean, but I don't really get in the water. :)

We will be back on Sunday, tanned and relaxed and full of photos to share.

PS - An unfortunate pre-road trip pattern is emerging. For the second time now, I've discovered that the cat has vomited directly in the pair of shoes I've laid out to wear while travelling. First it was my running shoes the night before Swazi; now it was my Havaianas, definitely easier to clean up,but yucky nonetheless when you nearly shove your foot into a pool of cat urp in your drowsy yet excited-to-get-out-the-door morning state.

We Had the Malva Pudding

...It was delicious. A great 3-year anniversary celebration. I must say, however, the boys weren't too thrilled about registering the festivities once we were home. :)

So This Is What Finals Prepare You For...

I am exhausted. It feels like finals week in university, only worse because this is real life and not some simulated project. I am still struggling through the last stages of the investment memo for the local paint company. I still have a good night's work plus another insane day tomorrow before we submit the complete project to the committee for review. Next Wednesday, we will have a big conference call with BIC representatives from Washington and Johannesburg to discuss the project and decide whether or not it gets approval for funding.

I've been waking up at 5:45 for the past several days to work on the investment memo, and am staying up working until around 22:00. This afternoon I was so tired during my lunch break that I ate some mango sorbet and a slice of mozzarella cheese, put on my pajamas, and took a 45 nap with the cats. I am not a napper. It is usually 1) impossible for me to fall asleep during the day; and 2) not a good idea for me to nap because I wake up in such an incredibly foul mood. Today was different. Not only did I go to sleep immediately, I woke up feeling refreshed. I took a hot shower, then went back to work.

Tomorrow will be the last day of this craziness. I can't wait for the document to be finished and submitted, even if it's not 100% perfect according to my standards.

On a random note, I decided to make cream of celery soup tonight. It was delicious, perfect for the chilly weather of late here in Maputo. What I wanted to write about, however, was not my yummy made-up soup recipe - it is the fact that Pria and Parceiro go absolutely nuts whenever I sautee onions and garlic. Something about the smell drives them wild. They run around the kitchen rubbing their faces frantically against the corner of the counter, the cabinet handles, the vacuum cleaner hose, the sink faucet, or whatever other hard surface is available. The onions and garlic have a stronger effect on Pria, who will try to attack and bite my feet while I chop the next ingredients for the dish.

I tried Googling some combination of cat+onion smell+crazy+garlic+out of control with no luck. Any other cat owners notice this phenomenon?

Okay, enough with the random. I am going to do some editing, then fall promptly asleep to prepare for yet another crack-of-dawn wake-up call.

Fine Feline Moments

Photos of la familia P in all their glory (Patrão, Patroa, Pria, Parceiro and poor deceased Pequena):