Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Maningue Saudades

Sometimes I miss our life in Mozambique so much I could cry. Not because I wish to move back out of dissatisfaction with our new chapter at Casa Cali (although obviously part of me would love to be back with the girls for leisurely late lunches at Zambi and weekend suntanning at Hotel Cardoso). Rather, I wish we were back in Maputo because I can feel memory playing its old, funny tricks on me already. Nearly five years spent between Maputo and Chimoio, and only a handful of months here in the Bay Area, and already the crisp lembranças of the former are slipping away. Some days it all seems so distant that I can barely believe that I lived one-sixth of my life in Africa. The memories dull, the floorplan of our flat seemingly imprinted forever in my mind begins to contort, the smells fade and the luso-afro slang flutters away.

I wonder, in the midst of these memory-games, what exactly I will carry with me as permanent, faithful memories of our time in Mozambique. It makes me sad that already I am losing part of our experience there...

Perhaps this is a contributing factor to my renewed desire to write?

5 comments:

laundrygirl said...

Well, the upside is that you have your blog to look back at and remember some of the details of your life there. I know what you mean though. Now that I have moved away from the rural suburbs ( which in NO way is like Mozambique) I already find myself forgetting little things - smells, the feel of the air... It's only been two weeks and I am already seeing my memory fade to some extent! Thank God for blogs!

Stacie said...

Laundrygirl is right...thank goodness you wrote your blog! Your school sounds divine...and the greasy kids are here in Oregon in droves...so glad you are learning all you are...I eagerly await your website launch....stay dry and have a great weekend!

Ali la Loca said...

~Laundrygirl - It's amazing how quickly previous chapters in our life fade away, isn't it? So are you in the city now?? If so, once you are settled, let's do an artist date!!!

~Stacie - Yes, I am super thankful I kept the blog. It's amazing how much of my memory is linked to writing. I kept a daily journal from the time I was 15 through age 22, which I need to type up on the computer at some point, so I'm happy to say there is a pretty good record of my young adult life.

Anonymous said...

I am a Mozambican living in USA for the past 14 years now. Life is good here, but I miss Mozambique! It is a special place. But then I am biased. Anyway, thanks for a nice blog. It has been fun to read it. Ajuda a matar saudades.
Abraços,
Um leitor do Blog

Claudia said...

just be glad the smells are beginning to fade... :) we'll always have Bilene xoxo