Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Day 2 On My Own

Really, it hasn't been that bad. I kind of expected that I would be a depressed mope this week, unable to work, teary all day, and doing nothing but watch South African music videos on Channel O and eat chocolate. I have no illusion that the truly low and lonely times won't come, but so far being alone in Maputo has been okay. Good, even.

I've been more productive than I have in ages, and although I know I'm keeping busy as part of a strategy not to wallow, it's such a lovely feeling of accomplishment to get things done - and by myself nonetheless.

Today, for example, I woke up early and mediated for 15 minutes on the varanda. Then I had some chai and played with the cats. I took a shower at an appropriately early hour (something I struggled with when Rico was here and we'd lounge in the mornings), then got to work. I made an outline for an evaluation report we will be doing next month, sent some e-mails, and worked on the remaining business plan for the IFC.

Around 9am I started running errands. I went to the bank to get money, the first time I've been to the bank by myself since Ricardo and I moved to Maputo in January, and unbelievably only the second time I've been to the bank by myself since moving to Mozambique nearly a year and a half ago! (In my favor, the first bank experience back in Chimoio was so traumatizing I feel somewhat justified in my aversion going to the bank alone. It was like being in a cattle car - seriously. I had to paw my way through a smelly crowd and wait for 2.5 hours just to make a deposit.)

After a successful trip to a surprisingly clean and orderly bank branch near our flat, I called our regular taxi driver, Zeca, and hit the town. I went to the fabric shop and bought a square of thick black fabric to cover my table at the crafts fair this weekend. Then I went to the office supply shop and bought a buletin board for the office (that will double as an earring holder at the fair). The stupid thing cost $38 dollars, a totally inflated price for a product of dubious quality, an all-too-common phenomenon here in Mozambique, land of the import-dependent. My next stop was a camera shop where I got 4 photos taken for use on assorted documents and visa applications. Finally I went to the bakery and bought fresh bread.

This evening I made some jewelry, talked to Rico's mom on Skype, and finally got a chance to talk to Rico himself on the phone. He's made it safely to Brasil and was enjoying a churrasco when we spoke. I tried not to be jealous.

All in all, quite a satisfying day. As long as I'm busy, everything is just fine. I miss Rico, but I feel I have a purpose throughout the day, things to accomplish, errands to run, documents to write, phone calls to make, jewelry to create, and cats to play with. I wonder how long this will last...


Kristine said...

This is how I feel when my husband is away. I always end up making to do lists that I actually complete and finding ways to make the time productive at best. Hang in there. I know how strange it is to be apart from the one you love.

n.v. said...

Hey, lady - sounds like you had a busy day.

I think the idea of missing someone is worse than the reality of missing someone. Life goes on, even after someone you really love has died. It eventually becomes something that, while it still may hurt that they're gone, you shrug at because you can't control it. Of course I'm thinking of my grandmother, which felt like my innards had been wrenched out.

When I miss someone who's just gone away, I do it by turning inward and avoiding new relationships. This may be why I have no friends in the new city.

As for boyfriends, I don't miss any of them.


n.v. said...

I'm sure you'll sell a sufficient amount of jewelry. But be proud even if you don't sell.

I love arts and crafts! You're inspiring me to get back into painting. I really want to modify old furniture, but I don't really have a space in my apartment that I can spread out and paint things or sand.

_+*A Elite in Paris*+_ said...

By having so much to do you are definitely keeping in mind that you are still alive :) and need to continue your daily life out there.

Day 2 was just fine :) we'll be here for what comes next :)

Alina said...

I hope this lasts for most of the period you are supposed to spend alone. Up to know, you are doing great!