Funk, Funk, Funk

Oh, last night was a good one. Tati, Louce and I hit the baile funk at the Scala and had a hilarious night of ass-shaking and people watching. For those of you not familiar with Brazilian funk, let me give you a little introduction...

Basically, funk started in the favelas of Rio and is a genre based on lots of booty, synth beats, and off-key rapping about the southern hemisphere's take on the ghetto-fab life. There's a lot of Miami bass and late-'80s MTV influence in funk, and every song has a choreography in the great Brazilian tradition of making even the most uncoordinated fool feel like he's in step. Not too long ago, funk was confined to the bailes of the favelas, big hillside parties that would attract the entire community for a night of debauchery and beats. But now funk has turned mainstream, with a couple of songs sneaking into the DJ's mix even in the preppiest socialite clubs.

So last night we hit a baile that featured two of the top figures in the funk scene: DJ Marlboro and Tati Quebra Barraco. DJ Marlboro is *the* name in funk, a party promoter, radio host, and arguably the hottest DJ in Rio for any style of music. If Marlboro is the king, then MC Tati Quebra Barraco (a nickname that alludes to her scandalous, home-wrecking nature) is definitely the loud-mouthed, juicily delinquent queen. She grew up in Cidade de Deus (City of God) and worked as a cook before turning to funk. MC Tati is thick, both in body and style, spitting off-key verses ripe with suggestiveness. Her tag line is "Sou feia, mas tô na moda!", basically meaning I'm ugly but I'm in fashion. She's hot shit and she knows it.

[Check out more about funk in an interview with DJ Marlboro, including a socio-cultural interpretation of the genre and a lot of cool info about the production here: http://www.hyperdub.com/softwar/marlboro.cfm]

Louce, Tati, and I danced like we were 80's Miami bass divas - hips grinding, bunda bumping, yelling out the funk lyrics and following each song's choreography. The boys went nuts but we just laughed them off, ignoring their pathetic, drooly attempts to steal kisses. Nothing like a good girl's night out. Except for the fact that I imbibed a not-so-smooth mix of alcohol...

List of things I drank last night:

1 Watermelon Martini
1 Strawberry Caipivodka
1 shot of Jose Cuervo Gold (regarded by Brasilians as *the best* tequila ever invented. Eca!)
3 Beers (Skol, que nao desceu tao redondo aquela hora.)

I called it a night around 4am and took a taxi home. It was one of those nights where all I could manage to do was pee, take out my contacts, and fall into bed. Didn't brush my teeth, didn't wash my face, and left all my clothes in a pile on the floor. Woke up in the middle of the night feeling like my insides were the worms from yesterday and ran to the bathroom. Several unproductive dry heaves later I sulked back to bed and fell into a fitful sleep. Please, somebody remind me NOT TO DO THIS AGAIN!!

But alas, I have plans to go out tonight again. This time it's going to be Lapa, the bohemian neighborhood where old samba masters still play on corners, where a huge street party happens every weekend. Hopefully I'll meet up with Sacha and his girlfriend, and some Italians I met on the trolley today on the way downtown. Then the plan is to head to Baronetti, a very shishi club in Ipanema that my friends here love. The goal? Dance till I drop, avoid prowly boys, and stick to one kind of alcohol.