School is proving to be almost mercilessly intense this semester. I am a diligent student and good at time management, and even so I'm barely keeping my head above water. I can't remember the last weekday when I woke up after 6am, and I can't remember the last weekend when I didn't have to work during what otherwise would be rest or play time. Most days I feel like I've barely got it together...way too much work, very high expectations, never enough time.
Part of me delights in this insane rhythm - I feel like I'm on my own personal Project Runway much of the time - and after all, this is really why I decided to go to art school. I'd never push myself this hard if there weren't an academic structure, peer critiques, and the pride of presenting my work driving me. I'd work hard on my own, but not to the point of exhaustion day after day. I've surpassed even my own expectations of how much I'd learn and what I'd accomplish thus far.
That said, something's got to give. Periods of intense, sleepless work can push your boundaries but they can also push you over the edge. There is no room for creativity when stress levels blow through the roof. I'm aware of this, and have made some decisions to avoid a breakdown.
My art history class and 4D class (essentially digital media) are not priorities. I am content to put in a B-effort in those subjects. The time I'd have to dedicate to get an A is much more valuable used in other ways - in the jewelry studio, working on my own designs, doing assignments for my 2D class (color transitions - I am obsessed!) and doing practical and enjoyable things like sleeping, cooking, relaxing and hanging out with Rico.
I've never in my entire life knowingly put in a B-effort. I got a B in Finance back when I was in business school, but I studied my ass off for that grade. It was the only B I've ever received, and I remember feeling equal parts ashamed and relieved. Now I'm happy to get a B in the classes I don't "care about", whereas previously the thought of a GPA that was anything but perfect would give me great anxiety. Priorities change, I suppose.
1 comment:
I don't think people realize how time consuming art school is. I actually started out in art school then switched to business- even though I had a very generous scholarship to study art, I really could not see how I could put forth so much effort for the rest of my life and make money from it! There was just always this annoying pressure of trying to create meaningful art within a time limit. I am with you, I need structure for things, but it is so hard to rush creativity, especially if you don't want to feel rushed.
Good luck this semester! 2D was my favorite too :) oh, and no rush on the email- I am on African time anyways these days....
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