Monday, June 22, 2009

I Might Try Counting Sheep

Times like this I wonder how people cope with exhaustion - like new mothers who continue to work full-time jobs, or college students working nights to pay for an intense semester of classes, or all of the crazy workaholic development people I've run across in the last few years.

You see, friends, I am unforgivingly tired. I sleep and sleep every chance I get, yet it doesn't seem to help. I fear that the constant fatigue I experienced in the months prior to moving to Mozambique is already starting. I remember about 6 weeks back in Austin where I was physically incapable of a night's sleep, there was so much on my mind and on my to-do list.

Things aren't even close to that breaking point yet here in Maputo, but still, I feel overworked and under-something...under-socialized? under-rested? under-alcohol-ed?

I've been meaning to write all of these fabulous travel accounts, first from my week of field work in Zambézia and Nampula interviewing maize millers, then from my quick vacation escape to Ilha de Moçambique last weekend. However, I have not been able to get down to it and write a decent travelogue.

At times like this, I have faith that these slumps are part of a larger cycle, that soon I will be feeling spunky and rejuvenated, and with the writing fireworks setting off brilliant bursts of inspiration.

Until then, I take solace in the fact that I've been going strong with the jewelry making and with the preparations for applying to school in the Spring. I suppose, when you think about it, I am actually holding down the equivalent of at least a couple full-time jobs at the I'll cut myself a bit of slack.

It's been a productive day of creating necklaces, cooking spicy meals, catching up on emails, and brainstorming about the structure of a business plan. I'm going to treat myself now with a glass of red wine and one of my favorite programs - "Air Crash Investigaton". Horrifying, I know, but I actually really love understanding how a series of small, random, seemingly unrelated events can lead to total disaster and systems failure - and am in awe of the investigative process that leads to the answers. I also think that somehow, perhaps a bit perversely, watching a program about one of my greatest fears makes it easier to face. It also reminds me not to take anything for granted, and that's always a good note on which to end a day.

Boa noite, here's hoping it's a restful one.

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