I am back in Maputo, back to the familiarity of the dusty city streets and the neglected corners of our flat, back to the routine of consulting and lunching and TV in the evenings that I had grown accustomed to before leaving for Brazil last month. Everything is still largely the same, of course, but it feels somehow different. I feel different.
I find it incredible that getting married has provoked this change in perspective for me. In all other chapter-defining life events I've experienced thus far, I've been hit with the slight depression that comes from expecting you'll feel radically different, when in reality it's just another day and you're left wondering when - if ever - you'll feel the change sink in.
When I turned 21, I felt just the same as I did on day 364 of being 20. Graduating from college was a similar experience; people kept asking how it felt to have a diploma, and quite honestly it was just the same as before I could put any credentials next to my name. Same with getting my MBA. And though I desperately wished it weren't the case, I didn't even feel that different after getting engaged!
Something about marriage is different. Perhaps it is the name change, or the aftermath of the wedding-high, or maybe it is the culmination of the subtle shift in perspective and beliefs and actions I've noticed taking place over the last few months. Whatever the reason, or combination of reasons, I feel different, Maputo feels different, Rico feels different, family feels different, plans feel different.
I wish I were able to put the changes into words a bit more eloquently and accurately...