Saudades and another trip to Zimbabwe

Ricardo and I are heading to Zimbabwe again tomorrow morning for our final meeting with the tea client. We have to hit the road at 5am in order to have sufficient time to cross the border at Mutare, get our visas and car registration papers in order, and navigate the 200km of poorly-paved road to Chipinge. With no wrong turns, we should make it in just over 5 hours.

We rented a car for the trip from a friend's sister and Ricardo is out right now filling up 3 big plastic containers with extra gasoline. Due to the political and economic crisis, there are chronic fuel shortages in Zimbabwe and you have to take your own fuel for any trip over a few miles. Just to be safe, we are taking 60 liters of extra gas with us! The shortages are to the point that many Zimbabweans make the trek into Mozambique just to import fuel. It reminds me of the many trips my mom across the border from Italy to Slovenia to get gas for Bibi, my grandmother's old Saab. Gas used to be ridiculously cheaper in Slovenia; things have changed now that the country is part of the EU, but nonetheless the lines at the filling stations here evoke similar memories.

If everything goes well, I'll spend the rest of the weekend finalizing the proposal, then mail it out on Monday (via DHL, of course!). I am trying to raise over US$ 600.000 in funding from a program called PSOM, an initiative of the Dutch government to increase investments in developing countries. If approved, the project we are working on stands to significantly improve the lives of smallholder tea growers in the region. Lots of if's and maybe's in the way, but I think we have a good chance of getting the grant.

Tonight for dinner we tried some of the big fish that Ricardo is holding up in the photo. Our friend said it is red mackerel, but I honestly have no clue whether that is accurate or not. Regardless of the name, the fish was delicious. Flaky white meat, fresh flavor. It was perfect in a stew with jasmine rice, tomatoes, garlic, and bits of leftover squid from last night.

For some reason, I was hit with a wave of homesickness today. Ricardo noticed I was looking a bit down and asked what "casa" I missed. I had no idea how to answer. I miss bits and pieces of all my homes, past and present. Most of all, though, I miss the people that have become so important in my life despite the fact that we only see each other once every few years. The majority of the regular readers here are people I haven't met up with in ages. Lambros I met in Greece when I was 14 and saw for the last time in Athens in 1999. Gaby was my exchange student sidekick in Albuquerque in 2000; our most recent adventures together were in Umuarama, Paraná in 2001. Angel and I haven't hung out since 2002. Then there are my friends from high school in Albuquerque, people like Jenna and Tomás, who I totally lost contact with only to discover we've been leading similar paths this whole time.

It's funny, many of these people I still consider to be my best friends even though our only form of contact is an occasional e-mail or a blog update here and there. There is something about the community of modern nomads that permits relationships to be created and nourished independent of space or time. My friends that lead similarly disconnected lifestlyes are the ones I tend to relate to best. I know that, despite the differences in our cultures and current occupations, we all suffer from the same root pains. We are motivated by similar ideas. We drift from continent to continent searching for the same sense of fulfillment that comes from fitting in everywhere and nowhere at once. I miss my friends and family desperately, but take comfort in the fact that a good number of the people I love share my same sense of ill-defined, omnipresent SAUDADES.