Thursday, March 13, 2008

Meme: Things Left Unsaid

Here is a meme lifted from Ash, whose blog I am unfortunately unable to comment on while using my home internet connection (as is the case with all Typepad blogs as well). This is about things left unsaid throughout the years, kept nameless because that's how you do the meme, but also because I wouldn't name-check like this on the internet without having first had the convo in person...

1. I let you believe something that wasn't entirely true. I feel bad about my lack of total honesty, but at the same time I'm glad I told the version I did because you reacted in a way that made me not want to have you in my life anymore. I suppose we both won and both lost on this one...

2. The letter you wrote me all those years ago hurt me to the core, and I still think about your exact words to this day. I pretended not to care, like your words just bounced off me without making an impact, but they affected me more than you could ever know. I wish I'd had the self confidence back then to tell you to fuck off, instead of sticking around despite it all.

3. I am incredibly sorry for my poor decisions and subsequent actions. You were someone I considered to be a true friend, though I know you'd never believe it after all that happened. I wish you'd taken my apology to heart. Every time I think of you I feel somewhat sick as a result of how things ended.

4. I love you more than you could ever know. I believe we have a connection that will continue even after death. I hope so, at least, because I can't imagine my life without you.

5. I regret the fact that we never truly have gotten to know each other. Why is that?

6. I wish you had done things differently. You have influenced my life in a way that I could have never anticipated, and I am struggling with that realization right now.

7. I know you didn't act maliciously. I'm sorry you have taken so much blame.

8. It's hard for me to be friends with you because you are so thin and pretty, and I continuously compare myself to you.

9. I can't be with you now. This isn't the path I want for my life.

10. You are someone incredibly special to me. I tell you this frequently, but I wonder if you really believe me. I hope you do.

11. I love you and never want to hurt you. Please forgive me for my moments of weakness and poor judgment.

12. I find you incredibly annoying and really can't stand more than two hours of your company without feeling exhausted. Still, I know that you mean well, so I find ways to put up with you.

13. It makes me feel so special to get emails from you. I treasure our friendship.

2 comments:

Guilherme said...

On #12: You're a better human being than I am.

Ash said...

So glad you played along with this. It feels good doesn't it? Kind of like confession :)