Thursday, February 07, 2008

I'm a Bit in Shock...

...but if I'm honest, not really.

Just had the much-anticipated contract negotiations meeting with Hugh Marlboro.

I have a lot to think over right now. Big changes could be on the way, or not really any, for that matter. I've learned not to place my bets too firmly when the future is concerned, especially here in Moz, especially here at the Banana Empire.

More later. I think I need a stiff drink, then a good cry, then another drink, then a series of phone calls, then a shout of joy, then another cry, then some writing, then several hundred hours of conversations in my head...just me, myself and I, playing out the various possibilities for my life.

It's one incredible ride, that's for sure...

5 comments:

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

I hope everything works out for the best Ali.

Mike Hu said...

One of the rites of passage in any society, is realizing that others don't value you with the same worth you value yourself -- and what is important, is how you value yourself.

That's particularly true if you're creative and a pioneer of new ideas and paradigms. You would think the world is eager for bold new solutions to their age-old problems, but instead, people grow used to their age-old problems and then defend them as their identities -- as that which cannot be changed.

The thing about artist and writers, is that they must value their own work first and more highly than anybody else can, or the other would be the more creative and the artist. Most people get paid to do what the other person wants them to do, and not what they want to do themselves -- which means they ultimately have to become entrepreneurs, rather than working for somebody else.

Many people make some kind of compromise to maintain their integrity and vision -- but most do not, failing utterly at that first test of confidence. One can expect those tests throughout life -- if one maintains their vision and integrity as an artist. That must be what an individual really wants to do and recognizes as the calling, meaning and purpose of their lives -- rather than a sacrifice, duty or obligation.

Every failure is only practice for a greater success.

Safiya Outlines said...

Whatever happens, for whatever reason, I hope that everything works out and you keep smiling.

--jenna said...

quero saber quero saber!!!!

bjs

Ali la Loca said...

~Monkey - Oh, me too!

~Mike Hu - Thank you so much. This comment was exactly what I needed to read right now. As you know, I frequently have "fraud" crises, and it was tempting for me to react to this conversation with my boss by thinking "they figured me out. They know I have nothing to add to the business."

But then, my gut and my heart reminded me that this is simply not true. I do recognize my value, and I do believe that I will find a place where that value is recognized and put to good use, be it my own business or somewhere else.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

~Safiya - I can say, for sure, that I held my head high for the entire tough conversation, and I will continue to do so until the day I walk out that door! Thank you, my friend.

~Jenna - It's quite the story...will tell all soon. Wish you were here so we could go for coffee and gossip together!