Saturday, August 02, 2014

Freeflow thoughts some 6 months after opening the gallery

- I am tired. No surprise there, I knew what I was getting into. But yeah, really tired.

- I often feel like I am faking it 'till I make it, even more so than in Mozambique. I guess I got good at being a self-employed cheerleader!

- Community organizing (Point to Point Richmond) is where I put a giant part of my energy these days, along with old-school marketing. This is a surprise to me, but totally makes sense.

- I think the most effective strategy is one that involves face-to-face connections, visiting and getting to know your neighbors, doing outreach, creating a reason for people to visit, using the phone, writing a thank you letter, helping carry furniture, giving advice for free, hearing people's stories.

- Sometimes I feel reckless and irresponsible for spending so much money on my business. I am able to think of it as 'investment' and I know it's a necessary part, but it's scary nonetheless.

- Money is something I think about a lot, but it's not my main driver. I don't hope for sales, I hope for relationships.

- I cry a lot. While watching America's Got Talent, at Visa commercials, at dinner with Rico, while looking at photos. Art school brought out my feelings big time, and apparently that level of sensitivity is here to stay.

- I constantly worry about not being organized enough, not being prepared enough, not being on top of it, whatever 'it' is...even though I realize I'm one of the most organized and prepared and on top of it people I know.

- Often I don't know what to do, but my to-do list is always a mile long.

- Just buckling down and getting to work, no matter what the task, is a certain recipe for alleviating anxiety.

- I need a vacation every 6 weeks seemingly.

- I track certain things every week in my hyper-organized paper planner. I find it soothing to mark the days I exercise with a circle and the days I make it to studio with an X. I keep a weekly tally and have specific goals.

- It seems to me that no matter what the craziness at hand, if I make it to the studio 4x a week and exercise 4x a week, everything will turn out okay.

- The main thing, really, is exercise. I recently had to go two weeks without a lot of movement and it was the pits.

- There's definitely an image/appearance that comes along with the gallery. I have three "public" days per week (Thurs-Sat) and I feel it's important to dress up, wear my own jewelry, and look the part.

- Sometimes people do judge a book by its cover. Being nicely dressed with fancy jewelry definitely influences how seriously people take the gallery. It sure seems that way, at least.

- My best allies are my family, my husband, and the group of people I was in school with who I now call colleagues.

- I totally under-appreciated how much I'd come to depend on people I was in school with. They are my peers, my friends, my support system, my contract labor, my inspiration, and my motivation.

- I also really appreciate the friendships I have that are not work related at all. They are few and far between!

- There's a lot of gray area in my life (family businesses, my own business with friends, etc.) and it can be really hard to navigate.

- Not walking on eggshells is key. You just gotta say it like you feel it, and ideally as soon as possible. There is no easy way to navigate all the gray, but keeping stuff in and cultivating resentment is definitely not the answer.

- Still, it's really hard to be emotionally authentic and filter-less.

- Things are going really well, I think, but it's hard to have perspective. Sometimes it feels like failure cubed. And other times it feels like I am on the top of the world. Let's see how I feel at one year. :)

1 comment:

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