Casa Cali View, Summer's Day and Winter's Night, 2011

Mantras for the Semester

"Perfect is the enemy of good (enough)."

"Rome wasn't built in a day."

There's so much to consider in building a creative business. First, obviously, you must have a well-designed, beautifully made, compelling product. Creating amazing jewelry has been the focus of most of my efforts over the past two years, as without the good pieces it makes no sense to invest in growing the business. However, I'm at a point where my business side needs to make a leap forward. Not the numbers and accounting, although that could use some attention too. Rather I'm talking packaging, website content and layout, product tags, letterhead, logo, business cards, etc. Essentially the whole branding and marketing effort that will really send a professional, polished image to back up my jewelry.

It's so frustrating sometimes because there are so many details and I can't always tackle them all. Sometimes my packaging is not ideal to the shape of a piece, or a label is hand-written instead of stamped, or my website still carries my old logo and branding because I wasn't able to make the change to the new site in time for the holidays. There's just so much to think about and be on top of...

That's when I try to remind myself of the two sayings at the top of this post. Something is better than nothing, always. Baby steps to your goal. Or as they would say in Mozambique, "pouco-pouco."

83 Down, 2 to Go

This seventeen-week semester is nearly finished. Part of me is extremely grateful for the upcoming break, which I clearly need to maintain my sanity and be ready for another stretch of craziness come January. But another part of me is sad, depressed even. I love being in school and it's so difficult to go from 1,000 miles per hour to essentially zero overnight (at least that's how it feels, even though I'm still super busy with holiday orders).

Also, my friendships have really consolidated this semester and the idea of not being around my girls leaves me feeling a bit empty (most people go back "home" for the holidays, not that many of us are locally based). I am so lucky to be in the metals program with this particular group of people. It took me nearly two years to feel like I've made friends, but now that I have, I can't imagine school without them. We support each other through crises, work out together on a regular basis, pull all-nighters together in studio, make runs for bubble tea (my new favorite studio snack). My friends are a big part of what motivates me throughout the semester, and I will seriously miss them over the next month.

I'm trying to avoid the serious blues this break, however. Strategies include throwing a "come over and do nothing" relax party on Saturday, running regularly with H., enjoying time with family, mini trips to Tahoe and Napa, and staying busy with a couple of jewelry commissions. I'm also itching to troll the local flea markets and salvage yards for storage cabinets, old tools, display cases, and whatever else catches my eye for the studio. Keeping busy is the ticket, for sure.

Light in Sight

One more jewelry project, my chromophobia final, and a paper on a Tibetan Buddhist manuscript are between me and a much-needed break. I'm really burned out (and consequently not thaaaaat stressed) and it's been hard to get motivated to turn out these last projects. I'm close, though, and knowing that gives me an extra boost.

This semester I've prioritized exercise equally with my schoolwork. I don't regret it one bit. I *do* have time to keep working out, and it's not like I have to shuffle my schedule to do it. Honestly I waste a ton of time in my day-to-day, and that hour-and-a-half it takes to start and finish a workout are imperceptibly sucked by internet, chatting, spacing out, doing non-priority chores, etc. When I do exercise, I get the feeling my time is more precious (i.e. I've spent it consciously) and therefore I'm more productive, more efficient, and better at prioritizing the things on my to-do list. Win, win really. I stay fit and manage my stress, and am also faster and more focused at my work.

So why is this so hard to remember *before* a workout, when I will make 1,001 excuses as to why I should stay in studio or simply watch some trash on tv?

Anyhow, I've been much better about the workouts this semester and I feel good. Tonight, for example, I'm going to dance at Hipline for an hour. In semesters past, I'd have cancelled this refundable class in a heartbeat. Not now, though. It will be the highlight of my day.

The Traveler Necklaces

Each necklace in the 15-piece Traveler series has the name of a different city worldwide that inspired the color palette. Adding to the traveler vibe, the trade beads used in the design are hundreds of years old and have crossed the globe several times over, starting in Venice or Bohemia where they were made, carried to Africa by the Portuguese, washed up on the shores of Ilha de Moçambique after shipwrecks, and finally brought here to San Francisco in my luggage.

Where will their next stop be?

(The Helsinki Traveler Necklace and the other Travelers are available at www.alexandraamaro.com)

Apprenticeship

There is a really difficult mind-space for people that hold themselves to high standards when, while learning a new trade or skill, they realize what the best work looks like (i.e. what they desire to make/do) but are unable to perform at that level yet. Often the gap is because these people are still learners, operating in an area where true mastery requires years and years of experience. For some reason, though, it is hard to accept that apprenticeship equals failure on an intrinsic level, that if we don't make bad work there is no way to learn how to make good work.

I know this. I can even write about this. But it is SO HARD to embody it, to release the pressure I self-impose to knock it out of the park with every project that comes along. I want all of my work to be amazing, not necessarily for the praise of others (although this is definitely nice, however another minefield in and of itself) but because I am used to being at the top of whatever I'm doing. I know I'm capable of doing impeccable work, and it's hard to accept that it's okay if I can't right now, for whatever reason, in whatever capacity.

I think people doing jewelry or metalsmithing at a high level are particularly prone to this issue. Our field is all about perfection, precision, doing it right the first time because often that's the only option lest you go back to square one with a particular piece. Our eyes are meticulous. We see all of the flaws. Making can be maddening. We get so invested in our work, put in so many hours... It becomes especially hard to look at a piece after blood and sweat and tears (literally. really. i cry nearly every week and can't feel the tips of my fingers) when you know certain things should have been done differently and/or better.

I need to remember - I think all of us in the progam could stand to remember - that other people don't see jewelry through the same discriminating eyes as we do. Other people see the beauty, the creativity, the materials. Not that this is license to do shoddy work, but to remember on those pre-critique mornings that someone out there will think this is the best. piece. ever. made.

A Good Feeling

In some ways I feel like this song is getting me through the semester. Just when I'm feeling really down, I'll hear this somewhere. In my car at full volume is the best, but Hipline's shimmy pop class is a close second (Hipline is this amazing dance studio in Berkeley that I've been going to with some of the jewelry girls from school. They have glow sticks and a disco ball during the last class on Thursdays, not to mention super dim lighting (the best idea e.v.e.r. for club-style dance classes that happen in a gym space during daylight hours.))

So Flo Rida's song literally helped me turn around a tearful crisis in the making last week. I was so stressed from my production jewelry class (I'm was working on the 5-alike pendants) that I could tell I was going to cry during critique. Not that my pieces had failed or anything, it had just been an extraordinarily long, hard road and I was at my limit. On my way to school the tears started to fall and then the song came on. It was like magic.

I wonder what my song for next semester will be (they seem to only be magic for a few months at a time).

For now, at least, it seems I know my winter break song. My friend Jimmy shared this with me the other day and I am obsessed.

For the record, summer's song was:

Spring semester's song was:

Carla Makes Jewelry in Maputo

I am so proud of my first jewelry student, Carla, who continues to make beautiful designs with wire and semi-precious stones in Maputo. I fondly remember our one-on-one jewelry lessons, starting with the very basics of how to make a wire loop and progressing through pricing and selling one's work.

Here is a gallery of her work. If you're in Moz and are interested in Carla's work, please look her up! She sometimes participates in events like the International School-sponsored holiday fairs, so perhaps you've already seen her jewelry somewhere.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/quimera_designs/

Five Identical Madness

I mentioned in a previous post, I believe, that I am working on a project for my Production Jewelry class where we have to make five identical pieces. We are allowed to vary one or two design details, and we must incorporate a "foreign" object, e.g. a stone, a found object, a commercial clasp, etc. Each one of my pendants will have a different color scheme/assortment of gemstones and a different patina on the silver.

Here is a (poor quality) photo of one of the pieces I am making. I'm really excited about the design, but the process and the deadline have my stomach flipping and my shoulders in knots thanks to record levels of stress. I don't even want to catalog all of the bumps along the road, but suffice to say I'm past-due with the project and have another marathon night (at minimum) ahead of me. I've been working SO HARD for the last two weeks. It's somewhat disheartening to work at 110% effort and realize that it's not quite enough.

Cue the lesson in perfectionism and remembering why I'm really in school (it's not for the grades, but I admit it's hard to let go of that, too).

I think I'll feel better once I get the rest of my stone setting finished. I have two pendants to go, and the road ahead seems never-ending...

Your Responses = My Next Jewelry Project

Hello friends,

For our next project at school we have to interview people and then design a piece of jewelry or a sculpture based on the responses.

The question is: If you could change one thing about your personality, what would it be?

Feel free to answer in the comments. Thanks in advance for your help!

After Earthquakes

We've had a series of moderate earthquakes here in the Bay Area lately. Nothing big, really, especially for people who are from quake territory, but big enough to frighten me for sure. Part of the issue is that most of the recent earthquakes have been centered just a mile or two from school, so the shaking feels especially strong.

It's terrifying during the shaking, but the disorientation and feeling of "seasickness" that I get afterwards is nearly as bad. It's similar to the feeling you get after a day spent boating, when you step back on dry land but still feel as if you're on the waves. I can feel false quakes for days after the real thing, and the fact that there really *are* aftershocks makes it even worse. I often don't know whether my mind and body are playing tricks on me, or if its honest-to-god shaking. Sometimes I have to look around the room at other people's faces to determine if something is happening or not.

This quake-sick feeling is so bizarre, by far the closest I've ever come to wondering if I'm going a little crazy. I decided to try and capture it in a panting for my Chromophobia class, as we're putting on an exposition this week about phobias. The title of the show is "Horror vacui", which means fear of empty space (and is just a very cool-sounding phrase). I wanted the painting to be really busy and visually disorienting to look at.

The end look is definitely different from what I'd originally envisioned, but I am okay with letting the process dictate the result. Here's a bit of the evolution. I think I'm one layer away from being finished, maybe two.

("Seismic", acrylic on canvas, 36x36")







(sorry for the poor image quality. I'm content remembering to take *any* process photos of my art these days.)

Silicone Molds, Gemstones and Running

Otherwise known as what's on my mind these days.

For my production jewelry class our assignment right now is to make five identical pieces. The idea is for us to utilize molds, jigs and other clever tools and strategies to make our work more efficient.

Although I like production jewelry and plan to do limited production lines once I'm out of school, it's hard to think in production terms. We are so schooled to make elaborate, conceptual, insanely labor-intensive, one-of-a-kind pieces that it's really a challenge to move away from that mindset and design jewelry that is creative and appealing, yet cost- and time-efficient and can be easily produced in multiples. At least its hard for me. :)

I am making a series of bejeweled silver pendants for the five-alike project. In order to be clever and efficient as the class requires, I'm casting the main component of the pendant. Fantastic, except I don't know how to cast. Rather, I'm learning in record speed how to cast (one week to be precise). This evening I poured my very first silicone RTV mold. Tomorrow I will cut it in two pieces and do a wax injection so that I can, on Monday, actually cast my piece. It seems complicated even though I've been told many times that casting is a simple process. It makes me anxious to have my project depend on a process I'm totally unfamiliar with, but I suppose this is good practice for uncomfortable situations I'm certain to encounter down the line.

I went for a short run this morning, which felt really good. I've not been able to run as frequently now that the semester is in session and I miss it terribly. Over the summer my friend H. and I were running five times a week. Now I'm getting in two runs per week, and it's rare for them to be over five miles. Rico and I are signed up to run another 10k on Saturday and I'm trying to align my expectations with my somewhat diminished physical abilities. I'd like to run the whole race really fast and feel fantastic, but I know I'll just have to go through at a slow and steady pace and be okay with the fact that I may just have to walk a bit.

In other news, I register for Spring 2012 classes on Monday. I'm taking Jewelry 3B (the next class in the series, one in which we do one-week projects all semester), Casting (ha, ha), Lost and Found (creating jewelry and other works that incorporate found objects), and a textiles class called Patterns and Pixels (creating patterns on the computer and then printing onto fabric).

I find registering for classes always gives me a little perk, which is especially welcome at this low-energy point of the semester. At a time when I so desperately need a break, it's funny that thinking about more school would get me excited. I guess this is a good sign, no?

Ali Lately

One of my favorite chill-out-post-studio-madness activities is to watch Chelsea Lately. I am sort of surprised I like her program (and her!) so much, but I do. Why fight it? I've long accepted that I like trash tv, so in comparison to something like Cheaters or Coco Loves Ice, I suppose Chelsea Lately is highbrow...

Anyhow, it is the perfect thing for relaxing after a crazy week, which this one was without a doubt. I had late nights in the studio at school (3:30 and 4:00 AM), late nights at my home studio (2:30 AM) and plenty of early mornings in the mix.

I got both of my projects done, which was a good feeling. One was a 5-piece suite for Production that was loosely based on vertebrae and done in silver with gold hinge pins (I made a bracelet, long earrings, a pendant necklace, a chunky ring, and stacked thin rings) and a personal identity piece for Jewelry 3A that involved a bejeweled floral/coin piece that fits into various objects. Hard to explain in a nutshell, but I'll post on it (and the production suite) once I get it back from my professor and have a chance to take photos.

There were several earthquakes last week. Two on Thursday that were the biggest I've felt since moving here (4.2 and 3.7, I believe, but these figures may have been modified by USGS). I distinctly felt rolling/shaking, which is different from the "a huge truck just hit the building" feel of the previous earthquakes I've experienced here. I actually got under my jeweler's bench at school for the second quake on Thursday. The epicenter was a mile away in Berkeley and that thing was scary. Jangled nerves, thankfully no damage. There have been several aftershocks, and I've felt all of them. I feel anxious, like I'm anticipating and can almost feel the next one before it actually happens. I guess the best way to describe it is that I feel sort of seasick, like when you get off a boat and can still feel the swaying long after you're on firm land.

I've been trying to counter all the stress with exercise, which is my go-to stress management solution. Running, cardio dance classes, personal training, and today I tried rock climbing for the first time with some girlfriends from school. We did bouldering at a rock gym in Oakland, and I can honestly say it was better than I'd anticipated. I am somewhat afraid of heights and don't enjoy climbing, but it was good to do a new activity and get out of my comfort zone for a while.

So that's what I've been up to lately. I'm really looking forward to getting a couple of days off during Thanksgiving. I'd like to sleep a lot, hang out with Rico and the cats, and do a whole lot of nothing. :)

30

I am turning thirty tomorrow.

Everyone is full of advice, ranging from how your thirties are the best years of your life, to how I should have babies soon because I'm getting old, to how I should really be using sunscreen daily because serious wrinkles are right around the corner.

I'm excited, not really feeling any of the crisis OH MY GOD I'M OLD stuff at all.

I am happily married and living in a house and community that I love. I am near family. I am in the best shape of my entire life, having become a Runner about a year ago. I am in art school perfecting my skills as a metalsmith. I'm a working jeweler. I have friends. I love our cats. I am happy and excited to be turning thirty, but not sappily idealistic about what the next decade might hold.

If anything, the one poignant lesson that I've become more aware of at this age is that we really don't have that much time. I can imagine that those of you reading this who are in your sixties are just shaking your heads, thinking Oh, she has no idea. But I do have an idea, if only a small one.

In my twenties and teenage years, I was privileged to travel a lot. I always had the feeling that those places, those people I connected with on my travels would be part of my life again. I went to Roraima and felt like it was no big deal to go back. I went to Greece and had no doubt I'd visit again. Same thing with Cuba, Zimbabwe, Vietnam, Argentina. It seemed so easy to just hop on a plane and go. Time seemed infinite, and travel was one of a select few ways to use my resources.

I was sure I'd see them again, the people that touched my heart over the years. Hannah, Lambros, Gaby, Angel, the Yamamotos, Perry. The list expanded exponentially with living in Mozambique. I felt certain I'd reconnect at some point with all of these special people. Jenny, Kelly, Zahra, Anel, Claudia, Helen, Marcos, Bruno. There are too many to name, really, and now I wonder when, realistically, we'll ever cross paths again.

Time is short, energy fleeting, resources divided amongst many worthwhile dreams and goals (not to mention practical obligations). It is challenging at best to connect face-to-face with those we love. We are lucky to visit twice the places that make our hearts skip a beat. We are envious of those who do what they truly love because we recognize the risks that often go into those decisions.

We must make choices, many choices.

I hope that I choose wisely in the decade to come.

Custom Jewelry: Cornflower Sapphire Set

Here is another one of my custom jewelry designs from this summer. A client wanted me to make some jewelry for his wife's birthday. She happens to be a friend of mine, which is great because I know her style. She wears very small, minimal jewelry and is somewhat conservative in her taste. She loves the color blue and only wears white metals. These were basically my only guidelines.

Here is the set I designed, plus the original sketch. I bezel set sapphire cabochons on a sterling silver backplate that looks like a cross between a cornflower and a cog wheel. I'm happy to say everything was a hit, and my minimalist friend is using these pieces frequently.

10k

We did it! Our only New Year's resolution* from 2011 can now confidently be ticked off the list. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd be able to run for more than an hour without stopping. Even crazier is that I love doing it.

*I had a second resolution, actually: to paint my nails more often. Doing well on that one, too. :)

Custom Tibetan Turquoise Bolo Tie

A family friend had a very large nugget of Tibetan turquoise he acquired while living in Asia in the 1970's. He wanted it made into a bolo tie and asked me to put together a custom design.

This project was full of challenges. First, it's daunting to work with a precious one-of-a-kind object from a client, in particular a soft stone like turquoise that likes to crack. Second, the nugget was very irregular, making it hard to set (at least it presented a challenge for my fledgling stone-setting skills). Third, someone had already drilled two holes all the way through the stone back in the day, so that it could hang as a pendant on a cord, and I'd have to figure out what to do with those very visible, crookedly-drilled holes.

I put together a design that involved prong setting the turquoise nugget, attaching said prongs to a pierced sterling silver backplate, and putting ball rivets through the existing drilled holes so that they'd attach to the backplate. Then I attached a bolo mechanism, brown leather cord, and silver end pieces on the cord.

The client appears very satisfied, and I am too. More than anything I'm happy that I'm increasingly able to come up with a design in my head and replicate it in metal pretty faithfully.

Here's a few photos of the initial sketch and the final piece.

It's Mini-Crisis Time

Yes, already. Just over two weeks into the school semester and that panicky feeling is back. My hope is that more frequent but smaller crises will have a depressurizing effect and thus avoid a whopper of an episode like I experienced last semester.

Yesterday was a frustrating day and I had a wee, mini breakdown. We're doing logo design in my Production class and I'm not happy with mine. I'm close, but just not there yet. We also received our first really big assignment - to design a suite of five related pieces - and I was feeling wholly uninspired, like I couldn't conjure up a good idea if my life depended on it.

I think a lot of this is quite normal given the nature of the program at CCA and the kind of discipline and dedication that metalsmithing requires. I also think my mindset and emotions were affected by not having eaten properly during the day, not having run since Sunday thanks to a sinus cold, and being on hour 7 of studio classes.

I went for a run today and immediately felt better. Things are once again more in perspective. I still don't have a logo design that I like, I still don't know what on earth I'll do for my five-piece collection, but I have faith that those solutions will come.

The Wheel Turns On...

School is back in session, life again has taken on that roller-coaster feeling as I try to reconcile deadlines, projects and my own jewelry work with the fact that time is limited, as is my energy. I've gotten better at cutting back on activities and trying to be sure I'm not spreading myself too thin. I delete emails about art openings, community events, travel bargains, discounts at my favorite stores all because I know I can't be tempted by these fun and interesting possibilities. I can only keep up with so much.

Outside my school obligations, I am able to dedicate myself to Rico and my family, running, a limited amount of my own jewelry production, and a very occasional concert or dinner out with friends. I laughingly said to our neighbors the week before school started, "See you in December!" Except it wasn't a joke...

I actually like having to prioritize, though. I think it leads to more quality time spent with people, more focus dedicated to the activities you know are essential. And I really appreciate my leisure time, that's for sure.

The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem